Wow...




I am in shock.

I never thought you would be so stupid to lie to me knowing that it would end our relationship. Knowing that within a matter of weeks I would know the truth. Why did you waste my time if you knew it was going to end anyways? You wanted it to end.. it was all a lie.

I feel so foolish because I believed that you loved me. I believed that you weren't just using me. I believed that you were trying to build a life with me.

I'm most disappointed in myself because I should have known better. I should have gotten out over a year ago and I would be happy now. No more tears, no more wondering "what if."

I had a dream last night that you showed up. I couldn't decide if I wanted to hug you or slam the door in your face. Either way, I cried. Right now I'm not sure what I want. I want you to show up here, with flowers professing your love for me. I want you to tell me how stupid and childish you were and how much you regret hurting me. I want you to tell me you are willing to spent however long it takes to make it up to me and to actually mean it and follow through with it. But I know that will never happen. 1, because you are too lazy to think about doing something like that. 2, because I'm not sure you regret what you did and maybe it was your way of getting out of something you weren't happy in anymore. And 3, that type of thing only happens in the movies, not to girls like me.

Maybe I have unrealistic expectations. All I want is somebody who I love, who loves me back. Somebody who is going to treat me special and who enjoys being around me as much as I enjoy being around him. I want somebody who WANTS to tell me everything that is going on in their life and who doesn't intentionally deceive and lie to me.