Remnants of a world gone sour.
Every so often I get reminded of how life used to be like. This time I am taking an objective view on this. I've come home for my reading week, and although I am home, I am not really apart of the family. I was given soul use of a vehicle for the week, my schedule was my schedule and I didn't have to ask permission to leave, only let somebody know where I went. My parents have finally realized that they cannon control me. I live on my own 80% of the year and I can take care of myself. Since I was given this freedom, I got to witness the inner workings of my family from an outsider’s perspective. My brothers have been going through a tough time. They are trying to exert their independence, and my parents are holding onto the last shred any parental control they have left. I feel sorry for my brothers because I've been there before. Nothing has changed. I was a bitch, but I grew out of it. I just wish that they would have paid more attention to what I went through and learned from my mistakes. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened and both of them are little hellions at times. But it too, shall pass.
A new found friendship has blossomed between my parents and I. They are no longer an authority to me, and we're on even playing ground. They support me in anything I wish to do, and though some of my decisions come as a shock to them, eventually they will agree with me. It's nice to know that I can confide in them if I need to.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
The Best Date EVER!!!
I have the coolest brother in the world. Tonight my 14 year old brother and I went on a date for his birthday since I missed it last week. It was the best date I've ever been on in my life. He even let me wear my sweat pants since I had been at work all day. He treated me to dinner at Wendy's and then we went to Putting Edge for some glow-in-the-dark Mini Putting. Putting Edge was busy and we had to wait a little bit so we got our pictures taken in one of those booths. When we finally got in they were playing some Mariah Carey tunes and he started to dance. It was the funniest thing ever! I have no idea where he learned how to dance, but I haven't seen a guy move like that in a long time. The girls who worked there were peaking around the corner to watch him dance. It was hilarious! Anyways, I got my ass kicked by 8 points! So congrats to Alex! I will beat you next year!
I have the coolest brother in the world. Tonight my 14 year old brother and I went on a date for his birthday since I missed it last week. It was the best date I've ever been on in my life. He even let me wear my sweat pants since I had been at work all day. He treated me to dinner at Wendy's and then we went to Putting Edge for some glow-in-the-dark Mini Putting. Putting Edge was busy and we had to wait a little bit so we got our pictures taken in one of those booths. When we finally got in they were playing some Mariah Carey tunes and he started to dance. It was the funniest thing ever! I have no idea where he learned how to dance, but I haven't seen a guy move like that in a long time. The girls who worked there were peaking around the corner to watch him dance. It was hilarious! Anyways, I got my ass kicked by 8 points! So congrats to Alex! I will beat you next year!
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
Valentines DayThere is always so much drama surrounding Valentines Day. I hear endless amounts of people talking about their plans, who they are with, or who they wish they were with. I hear people saying that they don't believe in Valentines Day because it's a "Hallmark" holiday. I chose to disagree. Valentines Day is very special. It's an occasion to show those who you love that they are special to you. When I was growing up, I would always receive a pink "sweetheart" rose from my father. He would always say that no matter who I was with, I would always be his valentine. To this day he always sends me a rose. Last year it was a bouquet delivered to my Residence, this year it was a sweet card and money with instructions to buy myself the roses and to keep the change. So Valentines Day isn't a day to profess your love to a significant other, but to remind those who you love that you love them. If you understand this concept, you will never be alone on Valentines Day.
My extremely sweet roommate Tony bought the girls in the house a beautiful bouquet of flowers. I don't think he realizes what a simple act of kindness did for the moral of the house. They instantly brightened up the house and brought a smile to everyone who saw them.
I just wanted to say thank you to these two special men in my life; for they both realize what it takes to keep the special women in their life happy.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Awkward Conversation and Comfortable Silences.
Good friends are hard to come by. Often they are hidden gems amongst a sea of coal, in need of a good polish to shine as good as new. Once you realize the potential value in those gems, it can be too late to cash in on your findings. I was very fortunate this year in that I experienced not what true friendship was, but what true friendship wasn't. I realized that friendship cannot be forced and it must consist of two independent individuals who are both on an equal playing field. Common values and morals are important, but not necessary. Mutual respect and trust must be established before any intense interaction can occur.
True friendship extends all boundaries. I've learned a valuable lesson this year. I lost what I thought was a true friend. Thinking back now, I realize that although we had a lot in common, the connection wasn't really there. Our friendship was based on convenience, not on trust or respect. I believe that I have learned more about relationships in general in the past year and a half than I have learned about Sociology, Psychology or any other course I may have taken.
In addition to friendships, I've learned about romantic relationships as well. Not that I've engaged in any long-term relationships since I've been here, but I've learned thought observation. I watch my roommates and my friends attempt to wind their way through some romantic relationships and I learn what to do and what not to do. I see people like Trish and Ryan and how they've found each other despite all of the complications that have been thrown between them. It's all about people and timing a wise woman once told me. If it's right, it will happen.
Sometimes I wonder why I haven't found somebody I want to share my life with yet. Other times I think that I would go crazy being in a relationship because I've grown so accustom to being on my own and doing everything for myself. But what if a real relationship was just a true friendship with sex? I would like to believe that is what it is, but why haven't I experienced it yet? I get frustrated very easily on this subject because it's nothing I can control or force. What if I've already found that person and just the timing is wrong? Waiting for "the right time" can go on for years. I can't wait that long. I was born in an age with drive-thru windows and e-mail and the internet. I have no patience. Why do we have to wait? There is nothing standing in our way. Maybe we both know this is for real and that thought frightens us. Maybe we're just not ready for each other yet. For now I'll have to settle for stolen glances and innocent flirtations, awkward conversation and comfortable silences.
Good friends are hard to come by. Often they are hidden gems amongst a sea of coal, in need of a good polish to shine as good as new. Once you realize the potential value in those gems, it can be too late to cash in on your findings. I was very fortunate this year in that I experienced not what true friendship was, but what true friendship wasn't. I realized that friendship cannot be forced and it must consist of two independent individuals who are both on an equal playing field. Common values and morals are important, but not necessary. Mutual respect and trust must be established before any intense interaction can occur.
True friendship extends all boundaries. I've learned a valuable lesson this year. I lost what I thought was a true friend. Thinking back now, I realize that although we had a lot in common, the connection wasn't really there. Our friendship was based on convenience, not on trust or respect. I believe that I have learned more about relationships in general in the past year and a half than I have learned about Sociology, Psychology or any other course I may have taken.
In addition to friendships, I've learned about romantic relationships as well. Not that I've engaged in any long-term relationships since I've been here, but I've learned thought observation. I watch my roommates and my friends attempt to wind their way through some romantic relationships and I learn what to do and what not to do. I see people like Trish and Ryan and how they've found each other despite all of the complications that have been thrown between them. It's all about people and timing a wise woman once told me. If it's right, it will happen.
Sometimes I wonder why I haven't found somebody I want to share my life with yet. Other times I think that I would go crazy being in a relationship because I've grown so accustom to being on my own and doing everything for myself. But what if a real relationship was just a true friendship with sex? I would like to believe that is what it is, but why haven't I experienced it yet? I get frustrated very easily on this subject because it's nothing I can control or force. What if I've already found that person and just the timing is wrong? Waiting for "the right time" can go on for years. I can't wait that long. I was born in an age with drive-thru windows and e-mail and the internet. I have no patience. Why do we have to wait? There is nothing standing in our way. Maybe we both know this is for real and that thought frightens us. Maybe we're just not ready for each other yet. For now I'll have to settle for stolen glances and innocent flirtations, awkward conversation and comfortable silences.
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