Random Thoughts of the day
You know you've lived in Canada too long when you shovel a foot of snow off your 10 foot back porch in your bikini, just to get to your hot tub. Sometimes what I do surprises me!
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Touched by an Angel
I believe in Angels. I believe that many people are sent to watch over each and every one of us at some point in our life. I know I have a guardian Angel. There have been two occasions in my life, in which I am lucky to have walked away from. Both are car accidents. The first was when I was in grade 9 coming home from a school dance. The driver of my car lost control and wrapped around a telephone pole. The pole crushed my door and broke my window. Some how my head was saved. I went through the glass and my head hit the pole.
You know, I haven't thought about this in a long time. And since I hit my head, a lot of my memory prior to and after the accident is gone. I think I may have blocked out a lot of it because it was such a traumatic event for me. It happened 7 years ago and I'm still thinking about it. I just remembered that as I was getting in the car, I told my other friend that we were going to get into an accident on the way home. How would I have known this? It is little reasons like this that make me believe in Angels. Not only was I prepared for it, I was saved with no permanent damage.
Angels come in many forms. It is no secret that I don't enjoy Barrie like I used to. That’s not to say that I don't have some good times while I'm here, but it's not the same. I had put this city up on a pedestal and when it fell, it fell hard. There are just some conversations and interactions that remind me that I am alive and that I have control over my attitudes. There are also those conversations which remind me that somebody is always thinking of me. I made a call to a friend this evening, a person whom I value more than I have for any other person. I've been living such a hectic lifestyle recently, this conversation centered me. And I haven't laughed that hard in so long.
So keep your head up, you always have somebody looking out for you. Weather it is from up above, or people standing around; just pay attention.
I believe in Angels. I believe that many people are sent to watch over each and every one of us at some point in our life. I know I have a guardian Angel. There have been two occasions in my life, in which I am lucky to have walked away from. Both are car accidents. The first was when I was in grade 9 coming home from a school dance. The driver of my car lost control and wrapped around a telephone pole. The pole crushed my door and broke my window. Some how my head was saved. I went through the glass and my head hit the pole.
You know, I haven't thought about this in a long time. And since I hit my head, a lot of my memory prior to and after the accident is gone. I think I may have blocked out a lot of it because it was such a traumatic event for me. It happened 7 years ago and I'm still thinking about it. I just remembered that as I was getting in the car, I told my other friend that we were going to get into an accident on the way home. How would I have known this? It is little reasons like this that make me believe in Angels. Not only was I prepared for it, I was saved with no permanent damage.
Angels come in many forms. It is no secret that I don't enjoy Barrie like I used to. That’s not to say that I don't have some good times while I'm here, but it's not the same. I had put this city up on a pedestal and when it fell, it fell hard. There are just some conversations and interactions that remind me that I am alive and that I have control over my attitudes. There are also those conversations which remind me that somebody is always thinking of me. I made a call to a friend this evening, a person whom I value more than I have for any other person. I've been living such a hectic lifestyle recently, this conversation centered me. And I haven't laughed that hard in so long.
So keep your head up, you always have somebody looking out for you. Weather it is from up above, or people standing around; just pay attention.
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Christmas Holidays
Working in retail, it's hard not to notice changes between customers and the general attitudes of customers. Some days it seems like every customer is out to trash the store and your constantly following behind a person to pick the clothes they throw on the floor up. Other days it seems like every customer is in a bad mood and is only creating problems. The holidays seem to bring out certian characteristics in people. From my experiences, people are more apt to give warm wishes, and are more understanding if there are lines. I can't even count the amount of times somebody at my register told me they appreciated how hard I was working and some even warned me to slow down or else I'd burn myself out. Little did they know, I'm a seasoned vet when it comes to the Christmas rush! At the same time, I have never seen so many lost men wandering around the store. Every day, probably every hour, I was asked by a man to hold up a sweater or pair of pants to see if it would look nice on his wife/girlfriend/mistress/daughter ect.
I just believe that although everybody is running around trying to finish their lists, the general attitude in the store is a happier one. I think this relates to society in general. Everybody is in a better mood towards the holidays because they have something to look forward to. What happens when the holidays are over?
This theme of kindness, I've noticed in other areas of my life. This holiday break has proven many things to me. Some friendships that were broken are now slowly being repaired. I think that if I was home for any other reason, the initial contact and olive branch would not have been extended. Also, I realized the concept of family. I never would have thought that my family would include those who are not blood related. Everyday that I am "home" I am missing my other home and family even more.
I guess it must be the magic of the holiday season, but although all of this kindness in theory is good, I'd much rather have life return to normal!
With that said, I hope everybody is well, and that your enjoying your family time. On that note, for those who know what is going on, Bob is out of the hospital finally and is at home recouperating. He's spending alot of time sleeping, but he did ask for a cheeseburger the other night so I guess he's feeling better!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Working in retail, it's hard not to notice changes between customers and the general attitudes of customers. Some days it seems like every customer is out to trash the store and your constantly following behind a person to pick the clothes they throw on the floor up. Other days it seems like every customer is in a bad mood and is only creating problems. The holidays seem to bring out certian characteristics in people. From my experiences, people are more apt to give warm wishes, and are more understanding if there are lines. I can't even count the amount of times somebody at my register told me they appreciated how hard I was working and some even warned me to slow down or else I'd burn myself out. Little did they know, I'm a seasoned vet when it comes to the Christmas rush! At the same time, I have never seen so many lost men wandering around the store. Every day, probably every hour, I was asked by a man to hold up a sweater or pair of pants to see if it would look nice on his wife/girlfriend/mistress/daughter ect.
I just believe that although everybody is running around trying to finish their lists, the general attitude in the store is a happier one. I think this relates to society in general. Everybody is in a better mood towards the holidays because they have something to look forward to. What happens when the holidays are over?
This theme of kindness, I've noticed in other areas of my life. This holiday break has proven many things to me. Some friendships that were broken are now slowly being repaired. I think that if I was home for any other reason, the initial contact and olive branch would not have been extended. Also, I realized the concept of family. I never would have thought that my family would include those who are not blood related. Everyday that I am "home" I am missing my other home and family even more.
I guess it must be the magic of the holiday season, but although all of this kindness in theory is good, I'd much rather have life return to normal!
With that said, I hope everybody is well, and that your enjoying your family time. On that note, for those who know what is going on, Bob is out of the hospital finally and is at home recouperating. He's spending alot of time sleeping, but he did ask for a cheeseburger the other night so I guess he's feeling better!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
Monday, December 12, 2005
On Procrastination and Boy Toys
Procrastination is everybody’s best and worst friend. It appears as if students can't wait to spend time with procrastination, and although they have work to do, they set the work aside to be with procrastination. We all know that the more a person procrastinates; the potential for a bad mark grows. But we all do it. Just as I am right now. See, I could be studying for my exam in an hour, or maybe for my exam tomorrow morning, but no, I'm sitting here chillin with my best buddy.
I never realized the lengths that a person will go to, to 'hint' to somebody that they are interested. When I was at home a friend from high school came by. Some people would call him my boy toy; I just call him my friend. I felt bad at the end of that encounter because I had the feeling that he wanted something more emotionally from me. But I don't have that kind of emotions for him. He hinted that he likes to have long term commitments, but seriously here; we live in different cities, 2 hours away from each other, we had a chance in high school and I shot you down then, what would make anything different now? Now this guy is amazing with his hands and this is possibly the only reason I'm keeping him around. I feel so bad, but he's making it so easy to get what I want and leave! That doesn’t make me a bad person... does it?
Okay, I have to go write this exam now, and I pray that I pass this course! It’s soooo boring!! lol okay, enough procrastinating, lets get back to the real world!
Good luck on exams everybody!
Procrastination is everybody’s best and worst friend. It appears as if students can't wait to spend time with procrastination, and although they have work to do, they set the work aside to be with procrastination. We all know that the more a person procrastinates; the potential for a bad mark grows. But we all do it. Just as I am right now. See, I could be studying for my exam in an hour, or maybe for my exam tomorrow morning, but no, I'm sitting here chillin with my best buddy.
I never realized the lengths that a person will go to, to 'hint' to somebody that they are interested. When I was at home a friend from high school came by. Some people would call him my boy toy; I just call him my friend. I felt bad at the end of that encounter because I had the feeling that he wanted something more emotionally from me. But I don't have that kind of emotions for him. He hinted that he likes to have long term commitments, but seriously here; we live in different cities, 2 hours away from each other, we had a chance in high school and I shot you down then, what would make anything different now? Now this guy is amazing with his hands and this is possibly the only reason I'm keeping him around. I feel so bad, but he's making it so easy to get what I want and leave! That doesn’t make me a bad person... does it?
Okay, I have to go write this exam now, and I pray that I pass this course! It’s soooo boring!! lol okay, enough procrastinating, lets get back to the real world!
Good luck on exams everybody!
Thursday, December 08, 2005
What I learned in the Past 24 Hours.
No matter how long you've been away from your family, fighting just naturally returns. (Especially with siblings)
The more you get teased by your father, the more he missed you.
You lose your inhibitions when you’re more than an hour away from the person you’re talking to.
You can pretend to do just as much work at home as you can when you’re at school.
My brothers live in a fantasy world.
My father and I act alike when we're drunk.
Barrie is very boring when you have nothing to do.
I love hot tubs.
I tend to write blogs when I'm bored or trying to appear as if I'm doing work.
Pizza is much better when you don't pay for it.
I will resort to watching old CSI reruns and David Letterman and writing blogs to avoid doing work.
I will clean my parent’s kitchen at 4am.
Everybody has to have a say in my life, if I know them or not.
Being Anonymous only lasts for so long... I'm a pretty innovative girl, I already know.
It's hard to let go of a friend, especially when she doesn’t realize why I have to...
Communication between 2 people is tough when a 3rd person is always present.
I will always doubt my abilities around my parents.
It's not a bad thing when my parents don't object to me not moving back home for the summer.
I LOVE diamonds. (I love lamp)
My parents are too good to me.
Taking a walk down memory lane with my brother really isn't the smartest thing to do. Especially when it involves relationships.
Having clean clothes is almost as good as buying new ones!
I'm really not happy... yet.
No matter how long you've been away from your family, fighting just naturally returns. (Especially with siblings)
The more you get teased by your father, the more he missed you.
You lose your inhibitions when you’re more than an hour away from the person you’re talking to.
You can pretend to do just as much work at home as you can when you’re at school.
My brothers live in a fantasy world.
My father and I act alike when we're drunk.
Barrie is very boring when you have nothing to do.
I love hot tubs.
I tend to write blogs when I'm bored or trying to appear as if I'm doing work.
Pizza is much better when you don't pay for it.
I will resort to watching old CSI reruns and David Letterman and writing blogs to avoid doing work.
I will clean my parent’s kitchen at 4am.
Everybody has to have a say in my life, if I know them or not.
Being Anonymous only lasts for so long... I'm a pretty innovative girl, I already know.
It's hard to let go of a friend, especially when she doesn’t realize why I have to...
Communication between 2 people is tough when a 3rd person is always present.
I will always doubt my abilities around my parents.
It's not a bad thing when my parents don't object to me not moving back home for the summer.
I LOVE diamonds. (I love lamp)
My parents are too good to me.
Taking a walk down memory lane with my brother really isn't the smartest thing to do. Especially when it involves relationships.
Having clean clothes is almost as good as buying new ones!
I'm really not happy... yet.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
It's something unpredictable...
Life is unpredictable. Just when I thought I had everything balanced, something gets thrown into the loop to make me fall. And fall hard I have. I was doing just fine dealing with school and family and friend issues, and then you came into my life.
I remember seeing your picture and thinking that you were so good looking, there was no way I'd be able to have a decent conversation with you. The first time we met I don't think you noticed me. After that night you added me to MSN. I still don't think we've had a conversation that goes further than "Hey! How are you?" in person. I get so nervous around you...
MSN is my savior. We started talking and didn't stop for hours. I told you things that I haven't told my closest friends. We haven't had a conversation yet that has lasted less than an hour. I feel so comfortable telling you things... just not when you’re in front of me.
Is it good that whenever I see you, you take my breath away? Is it good that I can't stop smiling whenever I think of you? Is it good that just talking to you made my day?
Sometimes I wish that you would just grab me and kiss me. Take all my worries away from me. Sometimes I wonder if you’re just as nervous as I am... Hopefully some day soon I will know. Until then, I am left to wonder.
Life is unpredictable. Just when I thought I had everything balanced, something gets thrown into the loop to make me fall. And fall hard I have. I was doing just fine dealing with school and family and friend issues, and then you came into my life.
I remember seeing your picture and thinking that you were so good looking, there was no way I'd be able to have a decent conversation with you. The first time we met I don't think you noticed me. After that night you added me to MSN. I still don't think we've had a conversation that goes further than "Hey! How are you?" in person. I get so nervous around you...
MSN is my savior. We started talking and didn't stop for hours. I told you things that I haven't told my closest friends. We haven't had a conversation yet that has lasted less than an hour. I feel so comfortable telling you things... just not when you’re in front of me.
Is it good that whenever I see you, you take my breath away? Is it good that I can't stop smiling whenever I think of you? Is it good that just talking to you made my day?
Sometimes I wish that you would just grab me and kiss me. Take all my worries away from me. Sometimes I wonder if you’re just as nervous as I am... Hopefully some day soon I will know. Until then, I am left to wonder.
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Is it Possible?
Is it possible to be extremely happy and extremely sad at the same time?
Is it possible to love somebody and hate them?
Is it possible to be completely content with your life but worry about the future?
Is it possible to reclaim your childhood?
Is it possible to be loved for who you truly are?
Is it possible to have more than one best friend?
Is it possible to appear happy on the outside but be screaming on the inside?
Is it possible to just not care?
Is it possible to keep a long-distance relationship going?
Is it possible to have lots of friends but still feel like you don't belong?
Is it possible to live with somebody and not trust them?
Is it possible to go to Laurier and not be a proud Golden Hawk?
Vanier Baby... Congrats boys!
Is it possible to be extremely happy and extremely sad at the same time?
Is it possible to love somebody and hate them?
Is it possible to be completely content with your life but worry about the future?
Is it possible to reclaim your childhood?
Is it possible to be loved for who you truly are?
Is it possible to have more than one best friend?
Is it possible to appear happy on the outside but be screaming on the inside?
Is it possible to just not care?
Is it possible to keep a long-distance relationship going?
Is it possible to have lots of friends but still feel like you don't belong?
Is it possible to live with somebody and not trust them?
Is it possible to go to Laurier and not be a proud Golden Hawk?
Vanier Baby... Congrats boys!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
My Loneliness is Killing me.
Why is it that as soon as the snow falls everybody becomes more reserved, quiet even depressed? I've always wondered this, snowfall for me has always symbolized Christmas, which is happiness and joy. But as I think about it, snow is related to Christmas and New Years Eve, but December and January remind me of snow, ice, darkness, loneliness...
Recently, I've been reminded by my lovely roommates just how lonely I am. For about a week we were all happily single. That week has come and gone and for the most part, everybody has paired up again. Em has that constant blog-flirt with Luis, Ryan has got Trish, and Leigh is back with Jay... And I'm suck here with my memories of what has been. My first Love...
I remember how you used to hold me; how you used to tell me I can do anything I put my mind to. I remember how I trusted you with my deepest secrets and fears and somehow you managed to make them go away. I remember how great we were, and I remember our first date. We went to Jack Astors and we talked the whole time. You held my hand even though the waiter made fun of us. I was cleaning out my room the other day and I came across that note you wrote me on the paper. M + K = TLA... I will never forget that night. I remember that we went to the movies afterwards, but I don't remember what we saw. I just remember being with you.
I remember the first time we kissed. We were at Wonderland in the laser quest. It was a Hollywood kiss. You cornered me away from everybody and you grabbed me and kissed me... then I shot you. What you don't know is that I had to grab onto the wall to stop from falling because you made my knees go weak.
I hate how we live so far apart, and I hate how we can't talk to each other because if we do it will only remind us of how much we miss each other. I hate how I only see you once every 2 years. I hate how I can't stop thinking about you, and I hate that I see your face everywhere. I hate how you're with her when you should be with me. I hate that you will probably never read this, and that you probably will never know how I really feel.
I love that you've seen me grow up and you still love me. I love how even though we don't see each other often, anytime we hug I can feel the magic and it always feels like the first time. I love the intense sexual attraction we have, and I love how I can never stop smiling when I'm around you. I love how great we were... we are.
Don't forget about me, don't give up on me. I wasn't ready then, but I'm ready now. Don't tell me it will never work, but I know it can. Don't give up on me now...
Why is it that as soon as the snow falls everybody becomes more reserved, quiet even depressed? I've always wondered this, snowfall for me has always symbolized Christmas, which is happiness and joy. But as I think about it, snow is related to Christmas and New Years Eve, but December and January remind me of snow, ice, darkness, loneliness...
Recently, I've been reminded by my lovely roommates just how lonely I am. For about a week we were all happily single. That week has come and gone and for the most part, everybody has paired up again. Em has that constant blog-flirt with Luis, Ryan has got Trish, and Leigh is back with Jay... And I'm suck here with my memories of what has been. My first Love...
I remember how you used to hold me; how you used to tell me I can do anything I put my mind to. I remember how I trusted you with my deepest secrets and fears and somehow you managed to make them go away. I remember how great we were, and I remember our first date. We went to Jack Astors and we talked the whole time. You held my hand even though the waiter made fun of us. I was cleaning out my room the other day and I came across that note you wrote me on the paper. M + K = TLA... I will never forget that night. I remember that we went to the movies afterwards, but I don't remember what we saw. I just remember being with you.
I remember the first time we kissed. We were at Wonderland in the laser quest. It was a Hollywood kiss. You cornered me away from everybody and you grabbed me and kissed me... then I shot you. What you don't know is that I had to grab onto the wall to stop from falling because you made my knees go weak.
I hate how we live so far apart, and I hate how we can't talk to each other because if we do it will only remind us of how much we miss each other. I hate how I only see you once every 2 years. I hate how I can't stop thinking about you, and I hate that I see your face everywhere. I hate how you're with her when you should be with me. I hate that you will probably never read this, and that you probably will never know how I really feel.
I love that you've seen me grow up and you still love me. I love how even though we don't see each other often, anytime we hug I can feel the magic and it always feels like the first time. I love the intense sexual attraction we have, and I love how I can never stop smiling when I'm around you. I love how great we were... we are.
Don't forget about me, don't give up on me. I wasn't ready then, but I'm ready now. Don't tell me it will never work, but I know it can. Don't give up on me now...
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