Dreams

So last night I had the weirdest, most vivid dream. It all started out with me and my roommates Tony and Leigh, my friends from home Chris and Dave, my Laurier friends Mike and Rachel. We were all chilling at a mall with some sort of fountain in the middle of it. It could have been the West Edmonton Mall. Anyways, we were sitting around the fountain, talking and really not doing much of anything. Then suddenly we were attacked by police officers and everybody but Chris and Tony were captured.

The 5 of us were taken to this prison that looked just like my 1st year res except there were bars instead of doors and windows and people were walking up and down the halls yelling at us. Leigh's cell was to my left and Rach's was to my right. Dave and Mike's cells were in front of us. But it was so dark I couldn't see them- I could only hear them.

We had to ask to use the bathroom and be escorted to the toilet when we wanted to go. So one night, I asked to use the bathroom and just as the girl unlocked my cell, somebody down the hall started puking and she had to go help them. Since I was such a good inmate she told me how to get to the bathroom (through the doors, down 2 flights of stairs, there will be a sign, just follow the arrows). So I started walking down the stairs. The doors were heavy and had a glass pane in them. I could see shadows of the people who were patrolling the areas. So I ducked down, not wanting to be caught without an escort. I was so preoccupied with keeping out of sight I went down more flights than I was suppose to and ended up in some lobby full of people. The sign said "visitor’s area". I was still dressed in my regular clothes so I just walked through the people and through the glass doors into another room. It was big and white and had escalators going up. It looked like an airport lobby. So I went up the escalators and found my purse sitting there. I pulled out my cell phone and called Tony and Chris to tell them what happened.

They told me to wait where I was and they would find me. 10 minutes later they were standing there and Tony had a controller in his hand with a flashing red button on top. I asked him what that was and he said that his Dad made this for him and that he would know how to use it when the time came. He then said "come with me, I have a plan" and we ran back to the escalators and he pushed the button. Suddenly the visitor’s area was filling up with water and some water started to leak into the airport lobby.

Chris turned to me and said "are you ready?" I said "I guess so" and he said "I hope you remember what floor you were on!" and we started running down the escalator pulling me behind him.

Somehow we got back into the visitors area and I could breathe underwater. Everybody else was floating around and looked like they were sleeping. We started swimming towards the door that I had come out of that lead up to the cells. The whole building started slowly turning and making it very difficult to figure out which end was up.

We found the door that our cells were in and it was full of water too. My friends were all breathing and worried because they didn't know what to do. For some reason, the water and the turning of the building made it possible for everybody to squeeze out between the bars when we pulled them. As soon as the last person was out of the cell (Rachel- I'm sorry darling!) the water started to slowly come down and the spinning stopped. Tony grabbed my wrist and said, "We need to go- NOW!" and with that we took off swimming towards the doors, down the stairs into the visitor’s area and back into the airport.

When I turned around to see if anybody was coming after us, the visitor’s area had disappeared. I looked around to all my friends, and they had disappeared.

Now that was a crazy dream!

Moral of this story- I am your hero.

"Me & U"
You've been waiting so long
I'm here to answer your call
I know that I shouldn't have had you waiting at all

I've been so busy, but I've been thinking about what I wanna do with you
I know them other guys, they been talking bout the way I do what I do
They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true
They know you're the one I wanna give it to
I can see you want me too

Now, it's me and you
It's me and you, now
I've been waiting (Waiting)
Think I wanna make that move, now
Baby, tell me if you like it (Tell me if you like it)

It's me and you, now
I've been waiting
Think I wanna make that move, now
Baby, tell me how you like it

I was waiting for you to tell me you were ready
I know what to do, if only you would let me
As long as you're cool with it, I'll treat you right
Here is where you wanna be

I know them other guys, they been talking bout the way I do what I do
They heard I was good, they wanna see if it's true
They know you're the one I wanna give it to
I can see you want me too
And now, it's me and you

It's me and you now (Baby, it's me and you)
I've been waiting
Think I wanna make that move, now (Thinking bout making that move)
Baby, tell me if you like it (Tell me if you like it)
It's me and you, now (Uh-huh)
I've been waiting (Hey)
Think I wanna make that move, now (Wanna make a move)
Baby, tell me how you like it (Yea)
Baby, I'll love you all the way down
Get cha right where you like it, I promise you'll like it (I swear)

Just relax and let me make that move (It's our secret thang)
Keep it between me and you

It's me and you, now (Oh Yea-a)
I've been waiting
Think I wanna make that move, now (Move now)
Baby, tell me if you like (Tell me if you like it)
It's me and you, now (Yea)
I've been waiting
Think I wanna make that move, now (Gonna make a move now)
Baby, tell me how you like it

It's me and you
Baby ill love you all the way down
Get you just where you like
I promise you'll like it(i swear)
Just relax and let me make a move(it's now secret)
It's me and you, nowI've been waiting (Waiting)
Think I wanna make that move, now
Baby, tell me if you like it (Tell me if you like it)
It's me and you, now
I've been waiting
Think I wanna make that move, now
Baby, tell me how you like it

It's me and you, now
I've been waiting (Waiting)
Think I wanna make that move, now
Baby, tell me if you like it (Tell me if you like it)
It's me and you, nowI've been waiting
Think I wanna make that move, now
Baby, tell me how you like it.
-Cassie

Just when you think your home free...
Life throws you a curveball.

So I have this friend who is a great person. We met in grade 9 and it was an instant attraction. But being the self conscious 14 year old I was, I passed it off because he was way too cool for me. Grade 10 found us in music class together. He played the sax or trumpet or something like that. Maybe the drums? I played the flute. Whoever designed my high school music room did a fantastic job! It was located right beside the cafeteria and beside that was the gym. The music room was made into 5 stair like areas with cupboards along the back and left hand side of the room. Every instrument had its place, and players had their section. Now the brilliance to this room was not in the ease to which every thing fit, but the separate practice rooms on the right. There were 2 rooms; one had a million books in it, a music stand and a chair. The other had a beanbag chair, a couple music stands and a table. I liked the second one.

My friend- I'm going to call him E from now on- and I used to go up to the second practice room to, well practice of course! Our practicing included of me sitting on his lap trying to teach him how to write music, and him putting his arms around me and kissing my neck and shoulder until I gave up. As time went on, we got a little more daring in our constant search for a release. Touching and kissing turned into dry humping and hand play- my first experience.
The only problem was, that we were messing around in school-, which was a big no-no for an innocent 15 year old, and that he was too popular for me.
During exams I brought him home for the afternoon and my Dad caught us red handed. Unfortunately for me, that was my first experience with oral sex and consequently, the day my cherry broke. Wow what a messy day!

To continue on this story, in grade 11, 2 new schools were built and my school was split into 3. I stayed and he left. We lost touch after a while. Fast forward to graduation. We started to talk on MSN more, and one day he asked me out. We went to the movies and out for dinner afterwards and said good-bye. Those same damn butterflies came rushing back. After that I tried to calm it down. I was leaving for University and I didn't want anything to start. Plus I was kind of involved with somebody who, incidentally was cheating on me. I left for school, but we kept in touch. My relationship with the other guy crumbled at the first chance it got.

When I came home on weekend, we would go for a walk in the park. Christmas, Reading week, Easter was all filled with me and E time. I tried to keep it innocent! But there is just something so romantic about walking on a beach after dark. Summer time came and I moved home. He constantly asked me out. But I was so busy; I couldn't even find time to eat. We had maybe a handful of dates over a 4-month period. But for some reason, he would always find out what bar I was at and would show up just to see me.

School time was coming up quickly again and I started to feel the itch to leave. My birthday was fast approaching too. My girlfriends took me out to the bar the weekend before my birthday and he showed up again- alone. Not one of his friends were in the bar. But he came just to see me. I was so drunk when he got there. I was all over the place. I just remember jumping on him and wrapping my legs around him and saying I was glad he was there. He didn't let me go for 10 minutes. He bought me a drink, and then left- leaving me with my girlfriends to have a good time.

The actual day of my birthday, I didn't get one phone call, or msn message from my friends. I got one text message and an e-mail- that’s it! I felt so lonely! E showed up to keep me company for the day. We spent all morning in the pool, with my legs around him and our bodies pressed tightly together. We went in the hot tub and then up to my room. That was a great day!

I left for school a couple days later. I couldn't get him out of my mind, but I was forced into this brand new setting and I had to deal with it. He was relentless. He didn't want to let me slip away again. Every time I came home we went for a walk on the beach. And every time I saw him he would become less affectionate towards me. I figured he lost interest and was stuck in some habit he couldn't get out of.

The past few times that I have been home, we haven't seen each other. I figured that was it. The end of the 7-year tease. But last night things changed. I don't know what brought it on. It could have been in my drunken stupor I let something slip. He was so completely honest with me about his feelings. He told me that they haven't changed since grade 9. I was and still am dumbfounded.

How could somebody continually think about one person throughout their entire teenage years, and still into there 20's, have the same feelings? Regardless of what happens, I just want him to know that he changed my life. He made me believe.

10 Days till serenity
20 Days till freedom
37 Days till Party time
40 Days till I'm nicely Aged
46 Days till Madness
54 days till the grind
Always waiting for something other than the present.
_____________________________________
Wish You Were Here
I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind
Pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were hereI lay my head into the sand
The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy...happy
I wish you were here
The world's a roller coaster and I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care but my hands are busy in the air
-Incubus
______________________________________________

"I met a boy"
"Tell me about him"
"He's tall, and handsome. And his Dad is a Trauma Surgeon in Toronto. He drives a convertible. He's in 3rd year Business. He'd do anything for me."
"Wow, sounds like a keeper! What’s the problem?"
"I can't get over what you did to me."

"9 Months is a long time to live with somebody you’re fighting with."
"gah, I know! What do you suggest?"
"I suppose a hit and run is out of the question?"

"So what are you gonna get me for my birthday??"
"It's already on order!"
"What is it??"
"I'm not telling! You're going to be 21, you’re old enough for it now."
"I'm old now??"

"I had a baby"
"I'm sorry, you did what?"
"Her name is Brooklyn. She was Born 3 weeks ago."
"I'm sorry, you did what?"
"Kelly, You're an Auntie!"
"I'm not ready for this! Put it back!!"

"I just bought a 2007 Grand Prix"
"Wow, that’s quite the purchase"
"Yeah but I only get to drive it for a week until I leave for Amsterdam and England for 3 weeks."
"Apparently you shit money?"
"haha no I just signed a deal to play pro ball."
"I suddenly find myself extremely attracted to you!"

"You two fight like an old Married couple. Except you aren't old, and you aren't married- oh and you don't particularly like each other all that much."

"How much pain can one person take?"
"I don't know, but brace yourself for the worst."
"They've already started to prepare for his funeral. The grass hasn't even started to grown on her grave and now they are preparing to burry him."
"Life is strange that way."

You make my heart beat a little bit faster,
you make my brain work a little bit slower.
You give me faith when the ending looks dim,
and you pick me up when I fall down.
Your memory makes me smile for hours on end.
I feel like I'm empty when I'm not thinking about you.
I don't like how you've got this hold on me,
but I do like that I've got a hold on you.

Your the one I want to be with right now,
The one who gives me goosebumps.
Please come save me from myself,
I feel like I'm worthless without you.