I'm not happy... why? What am I doing to perpetuate this unhappiness? What can I do to stop the stresses that are leading to unhappiness? What actions can I take to bring happiness into my life?
Life can generally be divided up into five categories. Life in general, relationships, career, family, health.
Life in General: Activities, hobbies, financials
Relationships: friendships, romantic relationships, work relationships, networking, animals
Career: current job, future career projections and goals
Family: immediate family, extended family, in laws
Health: General feeling of health, doctor appointments, secondary doctor appointments including chiropractor, massage, dentist, optometrist
It's easy to isolate a feeling if you can pinpoint where the initial problem exists. From there it's easy to create a solution to integrate into your life.
SO... with all of this said, here is where my problems or stressers lay.
Life in General - General feeling of being displaced due to the recient move and change in cities. I have a good handle on my current debt but I see the value in paying down the large amounts faster. More money is going towards the principle and my interest payments are going down. However, I am still very heavily in debt.
Relationships - I am mourning the loss of two very good friends due to their choices and lifestyles. I am uncomfortable with my current romantic relationship.
Career - No real stressers here. It is more of an ongoing stresser to ensure that I am/can be/will be the best and to push my career forward.
Family - Ongoing underlying stresser with my Dad. Personality conflicts with cousins
Health - Feeling tired all of the time physically, not mentally. Intense sharp pains in my stomach when stressed. Uncomfortable in my body due to recent weight gain due to health issue.
So, how am I going to fix it. Obviously I am feeling not well, unhappy, dragged down and displaced. Here is what I plan to do.
Life in General - Feeling of being displaced - This will fade as I become more accustomed to my new environment and begin to form a regular pattern again. Once I get my own space and can have the things that make me comfortable around me, I will feel more at home. Continue on my debt repayment plan, but also make sure to put money aside for other things that will make me happy in the future, such as my RRSP, TFSA and a savings account.
Relationships - I am considering seeking out a therapist to discuss my feelings of abandonment in regards to my broken friendships. Perhaps this is an opportunity for me to explore the current friendships I have an to make an effort to hold those together as well. I feel like I do put in a lot of effort with my friends but I'm sure there is room for improvement. As for my current romantic relationship, it has been a bumpy ride. We really need to have some private time and have a heart to heart and see what each of us is looking for in a relationship and with their life and be brutally honest with each other to see if we do actually fit into each others lives. There is nothing wrong with fighting to save a relationship, but there also is nothing wrong with parting ways due to a lack of a future together. I respect him and if I don't fit into his goals and views for his future, and vice versa, then there is no point in continuing a relationship if it is just going to end. Might as well end it now while we can still be friendly, supportive and civil.
Career - I plan on just moving forward and attaining my goals.
Family - Perhaps this is another issue I can speak with a therapist about. I'm sure there are exercises I can do to help get rid of the negative feelings I house for my Dad. Unfortunately my relationships with some of my cousins just isn't worth working on. For others that I do have a positive, reciprocal relationship with, of course they are worth it.
Health - I am continuing to seek out medical treatment for the pain and weight gain. I am joining a gym before December and I plan on making a committed effort to exercise regularly. I am considering hiring a personal trainer to keep me motivated as that seems to be what holds me back. I am also seeing a Chiropractor to help with the pain in my back and a massage therapist to help reduce stress.
So I guess I still have a ways to go. I have some research to do in the way of a therapist and a gym. Once I get settled in my apartment I believe I will feel more settled with my life. And it is clear that I have some work ahead in the relationship department.
My goals in the next month are:
- To move into my apartment and set myself up.
- Seek out a gym and join
- Research therapists and what my benefits plan will cover
- Find activities in the community that will help me feel more at home (Sorority, cooking classes, fitness classes)
- Discuss relationship goals and access a future
My goals in the next 6 months are:
- Loose weight
- Plan for a promotion
- Take a vacation
- Pay down my debt by $3000
- Start a rainy day fund
- Re access relationship goals and future talk if necessary
My goals in the next year are:
- Plan a vacation every 6 months or so (cottage in the summer, somewhere hot in the winter) and put money aside to afford it.
- Begin the push for a promotion/increased salary
- Save $1000 to put into my TFSA
