I feel so foolish.

I feel like I've been played. I should have got out a year ago but something told me to stay. I'm cursing myself for allowing him to put me through this again. I've never felt so alone and so out of control.

How could I have trusted him? When he had no respect for my feelings. How could I have been so blind to get weak-kneed every time he promised he was telling the truth and every time he told he me loved me.

I can't believe I almost wasted 2 of the best years of my life on somebody who didn't respect me. Somebody who so willingly hurt me, continuously. I've had enough, cried enough and spent enough hours curled up in a ball wishing the pain to end.

Today I will be sad. I'll give myself today. But tomorrow, I will not let him affect me any more.

Thank you for making me more driven to succeed. Thank you for teaching me the value of honesty. Thank you for all of the wonderful memories, and thank you for the worst moments of my life. I now know that I can survive through it and that I am a stronger person because of it.

I hope that your next girlfriend isn't as smart or observant as I am. I hope that she rolls with the punches and is too high to care about the truth or honesty. I hope that she's just like you, so maybe she will understand better when you lie to her. I hope she doesn't challenge you on the things you say because I could see how frustrating it was for you. I hope that she is everything that would make you happy.

Enjoy the house that I helped you make. I hope that when you look around your house you don't see me in the art work, the rug, coffee table, candles, mirrors, the kitchen table or even know I organized your sock drawer. I hope you only see you in the painting we did and I hope that when you need some help, your friends will step up to the plate like I did. I hope that you don't lay down in bed and smell my pillow and wish that I was there with you. I hope you are okay with what you have done because I don't want us both to regret what has just happened.