How to get over cheating.

After much research I've seemed to discovered the key to getting over your lover having an affair. Every website I've read said that you will feel angry, upset and sad. check, check, check. I have those down pat!

There have been a couple major themes that have emerged.

1. If both parties want to work on their relationship, then you must work through the issues of WHY your partner cheated on you to begin with. Talking it through can be painful, but it can also be empowering because it offers the jaded partner control in an uncontrollable situation. Both parties must be brutally honest or else this exercise is pointless.

2. The partner who cheated must be more forthcoming with information in the interm. If you want to gain your partner's trust back, you can't allow him/her to ask questions. Be more open with information than you have ever been. Your partner will feel like you are making a difference to change and to ensure that they can put their trust in you again.

3. Do not lie. Don't lie to yourself. If you cheated because you are unhappy in your relationship, then end it. Don't string along your partner. Do not lie to your partner about anything. They are trying to work past the biggest bombshell in their life and you need to be understanding. You cannot lie about anything- that will only lead to more problems and your infidelity will be brought up again and again. Remember- you are lucky your partner wants to work through this with you. Don't mess it up.

4. Go on Dates. Do the things you did when you first met. Remember why you fell in love with each other to begin with. By recreating that bond, your partner will eventually relax and allow themselves to heal.

5. Most of all- remember you did this to them. Every person is different and your partner might get angry easily, they might become depressed or they might pull away from you. Be patient. They have committed to staying with you. They could have easily left you but they didn't. You've done this to them. You can help them through it. It will only make you stronger in the end.