I've spent the large majority of tonight reading my old blog posts and reliving my past experiences. I realized that if I didn't know me, I would think that my life is pretty horrible based solely on those posts. I write when I'm upset, angry or confused. I don't write when I'm happy.
If you look down through the posts you will notice a huge break in time when I did not post at all. I was happy. I was so happy I had nothing to complain about.
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I am in the midst of a major life overhaul. I am terrified. I'm sitting here shaking just thinking about it. I start my new job tomorrow. This isn't just any job. This job I have been working towards for 5 years. This is a career. Well, a shot at a career anyways. What might my day hold for me tomorrow? Will I make it through?

I bought my first car. My name on the lease, my name on the insurance. It's all mine. I always thought I would feel something different when I buy my first car... but I don't. I'm not really excited about it. I'm just blah. I guess I'm excited that I don't have to walk everywhere!

I broke up with the love of my life. I'm devistated. I cry everynight.
It's for the best.... I guess if I keep saying that then it will become true. I just can't deal anymore. It's tearing me up inside and I'm so conflicted but I hate the fighting and I hate the distance. I'm so ready to have somebody to come home to. To have somebody there every time I need them.
It's weird when you find somebody that you are so perfect with. But you know that if you were 2 or 3 years older, things would be so much better. I have no doubt that everything would be close to perfect if I only met you 2 years from now. Timing is everything.

Fingers crossed that it all works out!