Changes:

It's that minute every morning when everything is okay.
It's that realization that you're not with me.
It's that one tear every morning because I don't know anymore.
I wish it was easy.

I don't know how you feel anymore. I'm left in limbo. So unsure of myself and unsure of you.
It's that silent phone beside me. Once constantly blinking red, now lays dormant.

I was so happy, and so blind. I cared, but not enough to ruin my perfect relationship.
I knew... I knew all along but I put it aside. I was so dumb. I should have walked away that day when I saw her in your window. I should have saved myself the months of heartache.
I'm glad I didn't. The memories I have from that day to today have made me happier than I've ever been. I'm sad I didn't.

The most frustrating thing is being so committed to you. I changed who I was because I wanted it to work. I feel like every time I turned my back the relationship ended until the next time I saw you. I was the only one who respected the vulnerability of our bond. I guess of my bond to you.

You were a mass of contradictions. I never thought that somebody could be so cold... but so warm at the same time. You looked me in the eyes, told me you love me and watched me go home, then walk to your computer and tell another woman how bad you want them. It's heartbreaking.

How can one person be so in love, and the other only be half?

I never thought this would be how my first real relationship would work out. I had every girls fantasy that you find your prince charming, you both fall in love at the same time. You have this magical first kiss with fireworks and you promise each other the world. I didn't anticipate the daily tears, the insecurity, and the lack of trust.

I want:
To be secure with myself and my boyfriend.
People to stop interfering with my relationship.
To trust my boyfriend and in turn, have him trust me.
To KNOW that I'm the only one he wants.
To have somebody to come home to, but not spend every moment with.
Somebody who loves me and understands me.
Somebody who has the same goals and values I do.
To be spoiled.