It's not supposed to be this hard. If it's right, it should be easy.

I feel like I'm trying to fit a square peg in a circular hole - it's impossible.

I feel like you don't trust me. I've never done anything to make you think that I have been unfaithful or doing shady things behind your back. I'm not you.

I don't text other guys to meet up, I don't have memberships on dating websites, I don't try to get laid. I'm not you. Stop treating me like I am doing those things. What you don't know about me is that I am a very nervous person. I don't like dating or getting to know other people. I like being comfortable and predictable. I like having a schedule and I don't like new things. I HATE change. I would never do anything to rock the boat. That's just not me.

I'm getting really tired of trying all by myself. I'm pushing you away again. I don't know if you care or even notice. Maybe it's what you want. I don't know. Maybe everything you have done is trying to get me to break up with you. When one doesn't work, you do something worse and worse until I crack. Maybe I should just listen to your actions, not your words.

I'm at my limit with life. I'm breaking down piece by piece. I'm pushing my friends away. I'm beginning to live two lives. I can't do this anymore. I need a cohesive life. I can't lie anymore. It is stressing me out beyond belief.

The following needs to change:

• My current relationship with Tom. Either we're together or we're not.
• Find a job.
• Move out of my parents house.
• Get my health under control.
• Work out a plan to get my mental health under control.
• Start paying down my debt.
• My friendships.
• Get rid of all negative things in my life.