Miss the way I used to write. I would throw all my emotions into my writing and after every blog post I was always left in tears. Utterly drained of all emotions. It is so difficult for me to unlock these emotions now and I desperately see how important that output was for me. Now they are bundled up inside me, screaming to get out. I just can't find the key to unlock them.

I'm not myself. I'm confused. I love a man, and he claims to love me. Yet he shows me no respect. He is two different people. The happy man when he is with me. A man who makes me feel like I've never felt before. And he is a man who is torn up inside. I don't know what happened to him to make him throw up those walls. Its been almost 3 years and he's never let me in. Always lied so I wouldn't know who he really is. Did some woman break his heart? Was it all the moving and trying to make new friends? Maybe he doesn't even know who he is. I just wish he would give me a chance to get to know the real him.

Everybody should know themselves. And everybody should have one other person in this world who knows them. Good and bad.