To be single, or not to be single, that is the question.

I love being in a relationship. The idea that there is one person who will be there for me and I can tell everything to is delightful. Somebody I can share my stress with, and my hopes and fears and goals. Somebody whose been with me the whole way and knows how big each milestone is. There is such intimacy that comes with knowledge of another person's life.

On the flip side, a bad relationship seems to suck the life out of you. A relationship when you can't trust what the other person is saying. How great can those life milestones be if you aren't sure that the other person even cares? How can you share your hopes, feelings or goals when you aren't certain that person will keep that knowledge a secret? What is the point?

How can it survive when one person is so selfish, they'd rather talk to 16 other women out of boredom when they realize that it will hurt you? But they'll do it anyways because everything is about them, you just fit in when they have nothing else to do. It's all for show.

Yes, he has this great girlfriend who cooks dinner for all of his friends. Always takes an interest in his friends lives and is nothing but pleasant to them? On the outside, everything is perfect. But the minute this great girlfriend leaves, the computer calls him. Maybe he likes the anonymity. Maybe he likes that he can be anybody he wants to be, an employed, Laurier football player who is responsible enough to buy a house and take care of his own dog. Maybe he likes the reaction he gets from these women. Maybe it's a ego boost. Maybe he doesn't see that there is a woman who liked him for who he was. He always has to be somebody he's not.

Obviously he sees that he's not living up to his potential, and in order to feed that need to be accepted, he's creating an alter ego. The problem is, his alter ego is not who he is. And his alter ego is going to lose the woman he loves, the woman who accepts him for who he is.

If he's so unhappy with his life that he needs to create an alternate life online, then he can't possibly be happy with me. So maybe it would be in every body's best interest for him to go on with his alternate universe and receive the praise he obviously feels that he deserves. And for me to continue living on in the present and concentrate on my career, losing weight and being happy. Just me, all alone. Just me. And Lexie, of course.