Questions I'll never know the answers to...

What do you do when you know somebody is hurting themselves and nobody else will speak up?
What do you do when your friend disappoints you, but you don't want to create a big fight out of it?
What do you do when your family makes you feel bad for not being at home with them?
What do you do when you love somebody but can't tell them?
What do you do when all you want to do is crawl up in bed and never wake up?
What do you do when all you need is a hug and nobody around you is willing to give you one?
What do you do when a friend calls from 2 hours away hysterically crying, and you can't do anything to stop her?
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Today I had dinner with my father and he filled me in what is going on at home. I never realized that the hardest thing to deal with is knowing that life goes on when I'm not around. Or maybe that life isn't the same since I left. My dad told me that it makes my Mother's day whenever I call her. Just to hear my voice brings a huge smile across her face. He told me that when they get home from work every day, my youngest brother asks them if they heard from me. He also said that they set a place at the dinner table for me every night, just incase I make it home.
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I've been having these nightmares that somebody in my family passes on. Some nights it's one of my grandparents from old age, another night it's one of my parents from a disease, and others it's been my brothers from an accident. I wake up in a cold sweat every night, some nights in tears. My family is my world. I wouldn't be able to function if something happened to one of them. The worst part is, no matter how many time I tell them I love them, it will never be enough. My family did so much for me, and I took it all for granted. Every morning my Mom would wake me up by saying "Good Morning Princess" and rubbing my back until I was awake. My Dad would always make sure I could get to where I needed to go, and he would never hesitate to make a phone call to somebody to get me that dream job/get me VIP at the club/make sure I was taken care of. Both my brothers are such intelligent young men. They are handsome and caring. I miss them so much. I know they don't know how much I think about them. I have their pictures on my desk and I look at them every day and tell them I love them.

I realize that since we're all getting older, we will grow apart. We'll go to different schools and only see each other over Christmas break, and after that, who knows. It will never be the same, comfortable way it used to be.
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"Hippopotamus"
"Ippotatumous...?"
"Almost! Hip like that bone right there."
"Ohh I know Hip! My daddy says that my Mommy has huge hips and a big bum! he he he!!"

"Kelly?"
"Yes hun?"
"Will you play doctor with me?"
"Sure, do you want to be the doctor or the patient?"
"I want to be the doctor because I want to poke you."

"My daddy says that you’re pretty."
"Thank you sweetie!"
"I think you’re pretty too. I want you to be my girlfriend forever but my Daddy would get mad at me."