As the big fat tears come streaming down my face, I can't help but place a meaning on each one. One tear for the first time we held hands, one tear for the giant bear hug I got every time I saw you, one tear for the last time we kissed. I'm overwhelmed by emotions, not because of what you said, but because of my past. Here I am, alone again.

Having invested everything into you, my willingness to change my life for you, to be destroyed with 4 little simple words. 4 words I hear every day, but put together create a life altering experience. I-still-love-her. 4 simple simple words that change my being.

I let myself get in too deep again. I jumped in with two feet to only find myself drowning in my own tears- again. I didn't learn the first time. I should have learned.
I shouldn't have let you be that person for me. I am strong, and independent. Why am I crumbling and depending on you?

I don't want to move on. I want to find me amongst the ashes of my life.
I just want to stand still.