I got a card in the mail yesterday. The first birthday card of the year. Surprisingly it was mailed to my Waterloo address, not my Barrie one. There was no return address on it. You always know it's a birthday card because it's in one of those colorful envelopes that say "Hallmark" or something like that one it. I ripped it open and $20 fell to the ground. Bumpa! I thought I knew that handwriting! My Bumpa sent me a birthday card. He took the time to get my school address because he knew I was staying here for the summer. What a sweet man.

I was sitting at home last night thinking. I glanced up to the card sitting on the mantle above the TV and a thought hit me so hard I almost fell over. He is my last grandparent. 3 years ago, I had never experienced Death. 3 years ago I had everybody I loved around me. Now, He's all I have left.

Granted, my grandfather is still alive, not doing well, but still alive! He doesn’t count though. He never once made an effort to get to know me. He has never seen my brothers, and he hasn't talked to my Mom in over 10 years.

I just happened to be watching the end of Gray Anatomy where the two people were together with a pole stuck through them and in order to save one of them, the other had to die. So I cried like a little baby. Curled up on the couch in the fetal position, all alone. I have never felt so alone in my life.