As I sit here in this cubicle, doing mindless work for people who don't really care what I'm doing, I can't help but think of you. You were once my entire universe. You encompassed everything that I thought was right. You continually brought a smile to my face everyday. Before the weekend, it was a year since I saw you last.

We were high school lovers, serious but secret. Nobody knew the complexity of our relationship but us. To the world, we were friends, but as soon as the world looked away we were locked in an embrace that could melt icebergs. You were my best friend, my confident, my partner in crime and my cheerleader. You showed up to all my games, watched me make the best plays and hit my first homerun. You watched me win my first gold medal and you were there with the biggest smile on your face. You were the first person I talked to about University, and the first person I told when I was accepted.

A good friend told me that everybody remembers different moments or conversations that are significant to a relationship. It's not that one event was better than the other; it's just that at that moment, I felt the most for you. I remember catching a pop fly in a metal game and being so pissed off that you didn't come. And then after I caught it I heard you yelling and whistling and I looked over and there you were at the back fence with a huge smile on your face and you waved. My heart sank.

I was home alone and very sick. I had to cancel plans with you. Half way through the day there was a knock at my door and there you were. In your hand was a single red rose. The first and only flower you bought me. I still have that card.

The first time I met your friend Luke, we were at his parent’s house looking at a car. You had introduced me to Luke as your friend and it was obvious that Luke liked me. You started to stand closer to me and brushed my hair out of my face. I knew at that moment that this was something that would last.

The day I moved away you showed up when you said you weren't coming. You said you just had to see me one more time, to hug me one more time before I left. I stood in my drive way wrapped in each other’s arms and I didn't want to let go. That was the one and only time I ever let you see me cry.
When I saw you this weekend, you said some things to me that made me think. You said some things that I had forgotten about, but were obviously important to you. Like how we used to paint together and made up K&N painting, and some other intimate details that I had forgotten about. I still feel connected to you. And I know you felt it too. Now the hardest part is to sit and wait to see what your next move it. It's like we're playing off each other, to see where we want this to go. Regardless, I know that you were the most important relationship in my life this far, and I don't care what everybody says about you. They don't know the real you, they only know how it ended. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I forgive you.