Awkward Conversation and Comfortable Silences.

Good friends are hard to come by. Often they are hidden gems amongst a sea of coal, in need of a good polish to shine as good as new. Once you realize the potential value in those gems, it can be too late to cash in on your findings. I was very fortunate this year in that I experienced not what true friendship was, but what true friendship wasn't. I realized that friendship cannot be forced and it must consist of two independent individuals who are both on an equal playing field. Common values and morals are important, but not necessary. Mutual respect and trust must be established before any intense interaction can occur.

True friendship extends all boundaries. I've learned a valuable lesson this year. I lost what I thought was a true friend. Thinking back now, I realize that although we had a lot in common, the connection wasn't really there. Our friendship was based on convenience, not on trust or respect. I believe that I have learned more about relationships in general in the past year and a half than I have learned about Sociology, Psychology or any other course I may have taken.

In addition to friendships, I've learned about romantic relationships as well. Not that I've engaged in any long-term relationships since I've been here, but I've learned thought observation. I watch my roommates and my friends attempt to wind their way through some romantic relationships and I learn what to do and what not to do. I see people like Trish and Ryan and how they've found each other despite all of the complications that have been thrown between them. It's all about people and timing a wise woman once told me. If it's right, it will happen.

Sometimes I wonder why I haven't found somebody I want to share my life with yet. Other times I think that I would go crazy being in a relationship because I've grown so accustom to being on my own and doing everything for myself. But what if a real relationship was just a true friendship with sex? I would like to believe that is what it is, but why haven't I experienced it yet? I get frustrated very easily on this subject because it's nothing I can control or force. What if I've already found that person and just the timing is wrong? Waiting for "the right time" can go on for years. I can't wait that long. I was born in an age with drive-thru windows and e-mail and the internet. I have no patience. Why do we have to wait? There is nothing standing in our way. Maybe we both know this is for real and that thought frightens us. Maybe we're just not ready for each other yet. For now I'll have to settle for stolen glances and innocent flirtations, awkward conversation and comfortable silences.